watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You did what with his pubic hair?
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