She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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