so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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