And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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