Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
