i barfeds in our rink
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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