there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
