i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
