I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
