I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
