Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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