Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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