guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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