so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
