This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
