I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
