Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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