4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
