im holly from the hills drunk
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
