"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
