my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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