Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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