Please, let me fuck your mom
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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