i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
