her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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