White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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