The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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