I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
