Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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