She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
