I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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