Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
now i know why i became what i already was.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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