This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I can't put those talents on a resume
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
