I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
