Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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