ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
