do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
