Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
