I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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