My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
