12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?