I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.