You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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