I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
