I bet he comes in French.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
