ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
