he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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