I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
