my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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