Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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