Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I need a burrito and a hug.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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