come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
