He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
