If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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