I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
