her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
