I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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