proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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