New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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