question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
