just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
